In Which Our Author Alter Egos

Okay, the Internet, you may remember that I have already done two posts extensively exploring the idea of my alter egos. They can be read here and here. So I don't think it's necessary for me to participate in this topic. I think it's stupid, and anyone who thinks I have to write something is also stupid.

Ooh! Wait, I just thought of something.

My real-life honest-to-goodness [hyphens are my favorite punctuation, remember?] alter ego is the person I am on stage during improv shows. Or is it the person I am when I'm not on stage during improv shows? Who's the mask?! Who's the mask?!

When I'm on stage, I have the same sense of humor and the same personality as when I'm not on stage, but everything is bigger, more confident, and more interesting. I am someone people want to get to know. I am someone that gets phone numbers and friend requests from strangers. This is me on stage:

Or, you know, on ground. Performing anyway. That is a sexy, interesting dude. Don't you want to kiss him up? Who wouldn't?

This is me off stage:

What a loser! Let's throw garbage at him! Yeah!

Anyway, alter egos. They can be a bitch.