In Which Our Author Funniest Moments

I went shopping for snacks during this one, so I'm going to have to shortchange it. I hope it is not offended. Let's limit and talk only about embarrassing classroom moments. Recently there was the time that a lecturer asked the class if anyone knew what "gynecomastia" meant. Underestimating the volume of my voice, I said "man-boobs." I don't think that is as funny when I write about it. How about the time my professor was talking about different dosage forms and delivery routes and mentioned that "size matters"? When no one laughed, she repeated herself. "I don't mean to be rude of course, but size matters." She did this for about thirty seconds before we gave her a pity laugh. Then a minute later, without any hint of self-awareness, she said, "... every orifice is an opportunity." I think that's funnier.

The funniest classroom moment of all time, however, is also one of the most mortifying moments of my life. I was taking a class on illegal immigration, and the class had a "lab" period every morning where we'd watch relevant movies. The class only had about five people in it, and there were two lab periods. So on this particular day, there were only three people. They left early, and so did the professor, but I figured I might as well finish the movie. It was the George Clooney classic Babel. I was watching it in the darkened classroom, when a seduction scene replete with full-frontal nudity began happening. As I was sitting there alone watching a very young very naked Asian girl trying to seduce an older man, the door opened and members of the next class walked in, stopped, and left. It was very embarrassing...