In Which Our Author Imagines His Life Without Computers

I actually lived a good majority of my childhood without extensive access to computers, but now I couldn't imagine life without one. By themselves, they are okay. I can write things and print things and play things, but that all gets boring pretty quickly.  Like a person with no friends, a solitary computer is a useless pile of trash, deserving only ridicule and violence. But like a person with a lot of friends, a computer connected to the internet is sexy and cool and uncensurable. Shut up, Spell-check! It's a word. I looked it up. The Internet is to me as her mirror was to the Lady of Shalot. (Literature, bitches!) It is a way of viewing the world without the dangers of participation.

Oh no! It's 4:59! Uh without computers I would probably be better but maybe not the end.