In Which Our Author Reveals An Awesome New Way To Describe Himself

First, I'd like to apologize for last update's pity party. That's the worst kind of party, followed closely by a poorly planned orgy. Anyway, nothing really came of my misbehavior but some frustration and my worst blog update yet. Oh, and a mildly funny anecdote. I mentioned in my last blog that we were playing beer pong, but that the cups were filled with water (water pong, I guess). This is because none of us wanted to get sick. Not from drinking, we were perfectly okay with that. We didn't want to catch germs. We'd just finished microbiology a couple of days prior, and that class is so informative, it could make Tommy Pickles gingerly disinfect his studriver. See what I did there? I said something you remember to make you laugh. Anyway, when the RA's came in, someone with an open beer in his hand ironically protested that the cups were full of water, and the RA's ignored him. The funny part is that when they sent the report home to my parents, it listed all the alcohol they found in the room, plus "22 cups of unkown liquid." So did they think we were playing vodka-pong? Everclear-pong? I don't think they would have found our party if that was the case, because we would have been dead.

But back to the purpose of this post, which is to reveal my new awesome way to describe myself. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a friend of mine who studies pharmaceutics much less professionally than I do. By that I mean that she was heavily stoned during this conversation. I mentioned how excited I was because a comedian I had met in a workshop this year was in an internet video with George Takei, who played Hikaru Sulu on the original Star Trek series. By my reckoning, then, I was no more than four degrees removed from anyone in Star Trek ever. I was gushing excitement at my imagined fame, and my friend remarked that I was an "epic nerd. . . like in the classical sense of the word epic." Beating her THC-addled brain to the punchline, I asked, "So, I'm a geek tragedy?" We both thought that was pretty funny for a while, but the more I thought about, the more I loved it. It works on multiple levels, depending on how serious I want to be. Plus, I've never heard anyone say it before. If I hadn't already created this blog, I would have called it Geek Tragedy. I'm going to start using it all the time now, so you'd better get used to it.